More Random Words When I was 20

this is more random stuff I found in my never-ending supply of old writings I kept; I remember I worked at Lowe’s at the time and I was a cashier and they put me down at the very, very end where they sell lumber and such; well on weekdays, no one was ever down there buying stuff and I swiped this yellow notepad and wrote down song lyrics for weeks.

Now, some of these are real bad:  “I am utterly alone, I don’t think I can rise above”- problem is, I don’t ever remember feeling so sad and depressed; in fact, call me a unsympathetic asshole but I never really believed depression was a thing that was so crippling to people; my girlfriend at the time always used that excuse but it would be so she didn’t have go to class or something; it always raised up at convenient times or became an excuse for a thoughtless action.   (Wow, that’s a tangent).   Anyways, going to try and comb through this and see if anything at all is worthy of reprint.

 

******Queen of Hand Jobs*******

To Touch, the sky, in an open light
For me, it’d be, another breathtaking sight
pieces of you fall together, at last
wasted movie tickets haunt my past
in overalls and cartwheel days
stunted growth, as sweet as honey glaze
she watches Grant and Bacall
Chasing guys in the fall
almost a memory
almost a smile
she sent a photo
to last awhile

down the stairs, to see the man
a pure soul, so she says to herself
love moves through, in a cut of day
mistakes were made, so she paid
coffee to drink and cigarettes to smoke
a grip so tight, to make you choke

 

almost a memory
almost a smile
she sent a photo
to last awhile

deep purple stares, through eyes they hide
and Paris far off, as tonight she cried
expensive champagne ages in her room
dancing naked in the daylight
Imaging us, together, in a play fight
i’m sure life makes us wait too soon
_________________________________________________________________________

“In Gatlinburg”

All I got to do is close my eyes, and I see you, on the bed in our room, looking like a queen in that magic place, it’s so great it duplicates, your pretty face, with it’s sun and it’s land, surrounded by it’s mountains
and I swear it’s not real there, no one steals or swears and I think everyone there has great hair
a place where money grows right out of the ground, and CD’s grow on trees, and clean whores and porno stores on every street block, it’s so cool, it f’n rocks
and unicorns prance in the street, everyone’s pockets are full of sweet treats, everyone always has a smile and says hello, they give you free money, and turkey jerky and jello


“Gnaw”

we are no where
without this air
the crippled cry
but we don’t care

my glass heart breaks
and this world quakes
it kills the mantle
and our brains ache

the whisper I hear
in my deaf ear
has got me aroused
and I must find out
how we survived

I christened you
I broke apart this mold
you swung the axe over your head
and struck it down into my soul

the whisper I hear
in my deaf ear
has got me aroused
and I must find out, how we survived


 

“Untitled”

There’s a break in m soul where you reside, and words abide, that I can’t find to describe your beauty

There’s a crack in my heart which you have mended with good thoughts, you send hope I never see the end of our love

it’s like you came from way up high, out of the beautiful blue-painted sky, descending on a purple cloud, looking so wondrous, so proud


 

“I am”

I am a pissant

I am a rat

I am a biker

I am a pussy cat

I am the needle

I am the morphine

I am poison

I am chlorine

I am a father

I am a whiner

I am so lost

cause I’m without her

I am crucified

I am bullet lead

I am diseased

I am a dick head

I am reciprocal

I am a baby

I am bulimic

I have rabies

I am dog meat

I am imaginary

I cry all the time

I am a visionary

I am a loser

I am a bedwetter

I am a prophet

I am a trendsetter

I am a mess and I am a person

I am a mess and I am a person

I am a mess and I am a person

I am a mess and I am a person


“Smile and Live”

I fly way up high, screaming, dreaming, feeding on the nerve gas that I’m inhaling along the courage, and Im’ a horse who feeds on hay and human heads, I like to barf up organs, crash to the shore and lay on top of the silty ocean floor, watching squids swim by and smoking, getting really high, goodbye, my love, you cigarette, I won’t forget, the shit you’ve done, the worlds you made, the cars you bought, the head you gave, you’re a single solitary star that engages from way afar, a sleeps in hard to find places, with many different races, speeding back to New York, to clean up rubble, give some blood and blow myself up, see a Broadway play, buy a carriage for a day then dive into a volcano and here I will remain

When life gets you down, it’s not the time to sit around and frown, you’ve got to get back on your feet, when you’re feeling bad, don’t get mad, or sad, don’t feel like life’s got you beat:

 

Get up, get out and do something that makes you feel good
Call a friend, meet a woman
but don’t forget, you still have to go to the store because you are out of food


” I found this on a floppy disk in my brother’s basement”

Words cannot describe
the way you make me feel inside
and looks cannot say
how much I want you every day

your kissing magic enspells me
your beautiful mind compels me
your healthy smile attracts me
your gorgeous face distracts me

you can stand to tolerate me
I love when you play berate me
your sweet voice dictates me
you could not enrage me

your decency is cool to me
your positivity inspires me
when I’m down, you know me
Why I love you, you show me

I dream about you and me
I love you when you love me
your great thoughts , you send me
you begin and end me

 

 

 

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