Mega Man: Dr. Wily’s Revenge

I love Mega Man.   If you’re wondering why I haven’t written about him yet, it’s because he’s my luscious desert.  I’ve been saving him for much later, a sweet morsel that whets my appetite and makes the eating of it (or playing in this case) that much better.   But, I did try out some of the Game Boy titles, figuring they were just black and white versions of the classic MM games we all know and love.

I WAS WRONG!   These are original titles using and inspired by the robot bosses from Mega Man and MM II, 4 of each.  Wow.  I had no idea these existed.  I was stoked to try this one out……

After 5 minutes, my soul crumpled.   Now, Mega Man is known for being a tough play, actually it’s pretty damn unforgiving.   I’m not sure why I thought a different version on Game Boy would be different but I did; and I paid the price.   Finding out this original title was born from the franchise I love, that I’ve never played, then playing it and it kicking my lily-white ass all over the screen was a harsh and severe punishment.  I felt like Margery Tyrell see her brother saved just as she was blown into hell by way of green flame.  This was like visiting the famous landmark the Winchester House and walking through it in 5 minutes flat.  This is like trailing the Star of David through toiling desert only to be refused passage into the inn; oh that actually happened, for some people.

I was so stoked to play this game and it was impossibly difficult.  It was shredding me into different sized circles blowing outward from the center of the screen.  It’s still Mega Man; the animation style, the sound effects are off but the music is still awesome, just playing through tinier speakers.    This game pounded me like fresh pork with a food mallet.  I actually felt a digital foot rise up through my ass and out of my throat.  It was a spanking that would put Marv Albert in the hospital.   I wanted to love it,; in some ways, I do; and I certainly respect it, but it was in that slight margin of being waaaaay too difficult to enjoy.

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