Keith gives him one. “He was there, drunk, out of his mind, but he was there. You know, Tram, you are never going to get your PhD, if you keep,”
“Hi, Angie, It’s Keith.” He finally got through to her on the phone.
Mike runs up and snatches the phone from Keiths’ hand.
Mike starts talking to her, “hey babe, no. She had something for me, not, I don’t mean it like that. Who said that? I have been totally faithful. Hey!”
Keith snatches the receiver right back and pushes Mike back.
Keith says into the phone”Angie, Mike ditched you the other day because he cheated on you. Again. You are both of my friends, and Angie, you deserve someone who cares about you, like Jon. Yeah, okay. I will talk to you later. Bye-bye.”
Mike is just staring coldly at Keith, then says “I’m going to kill you. I’m going to ill you.” Then, he just sits down and breaks into small tears. Keith stares at Tram, who looks shocked, and he walks over to Mike and puts his hand on his shoulder.
He looks down at him and says “Hey, we all make mistakes. You are just the god of them.”
Tram speaks up suddenly, “Guys, I think I’m going to heave.” He runs to the bathroom suddenly.
Mike looks up and asks “Do you think she’ll miss me?”
Keith answers. “Of course. She will always miss you, but she’s better off now. You two didn’t deserve each other.”
Mike stands up and says “If either of you tell anyone I was crying, I will slice both your necks, and piss down your throats” as he wipes away the tears.
Tram comes back and drowns his head under the faucet. Then he says “I’m ordering a pizza.”
Mike asks “What time does Molly’s going away party start?”
Keith, walking in his bedroom replies ‘Midnight, but the kegs tip at 11:30.”
Mike looks at his clock. 8:59 p.m.
Then, he says “Oh, damn, you guys want to play a hand?”
Tram looks puzzled, so he says ” a hand of what?”
Mike says, “Poker. A hand of poker, what else? Get the beer out. Let’s kick back a few.”
Keith comes back out of his room with a different shirt on and says “I have to call Jill first.”
Mike says to Tram, who brings over the beer “Alright, ante up.”
Tram throws out a Ruffles potato chip, ridge style.
Mike looks at him, and says “What the hell’s this?”
Tram responds, “I’m out of dough.”
Keith hangs up the phone, looking upset, presumably because Jill didn’t answer the phone, and sits down at the table. “Alright, forget the betting. Just deal.”
All three men open up a can of beer and start playing poker.
Keith looks at Tram and says “Hey, shouldn’t you be studying tonight? You haven’t been in class all week, and exams are next week.”
Tram looks away and says plainly “Uh, I dropped out.”
Keith looks shocked and says “Are you kidding? ”
Tram lays down two cards and says “No, I’m not. I really dropped. There’s a billion neurologists in the world.”
Keith, obviously upset, now says “You had a real shot at this. You were doing great in class when you showed up. I can’t believe you fucking quit.”
Mike tried to help out, as he knocked on the table, signifying everyone needs to show their cards. “Lay off, Keith. It was too much pressure for him. I mean, we’re talking about becoming a doctor here. You have to be…”
Tram interrupted him, saying “Smart. Were you going to say smart?”
Mike looked at him and said “No, I was going to say sober.”
Tram looks over both of them and says “You have no right. Neither of you do. You’re scum and you’re a klepto.”
Mike looked at Keith and said “We all know I’m scum. I cheated on Angie. But, what’s this klepto shit?”
Tram looked surprisingly at Keith and said “You never even told him?”
Keith replied “It’s not his business. It’s not anyone’s business.”
Tram also retorted, “Well, I think it’s your girlfriends business, at least.”
Keith shot on him, saying “Don’t you think I told her? I’m her baby’s father. She knows.”
Mike now inquires “Exactly what are we talking about stealing here?”
Keith looks at him and explains.
“My family was poor. It was six years ago. They’d ask the clerk about something. I’d grab something else. It was simple. I’m no klepto.”
Mike stammered, “Your parents were in on it?”
Keith answered, “I got caught on my eighteenth birthday and put in jail that night. My parents drove off and left me. Didn’t pay my bail. Tram bailed me out and promised no on would know. No one else would know. No one means everyone. This doesn’t leave the table.”
The doorbell buzzes.
Mike gets up, “Pizza. I’ll get it.”
Keith grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him back down into his chair.
“This doesn’t leave here, deal?”
Mike says “Yeah, deal, damn. I gotta get the food.”
Mike goes to the door and gets the large stuffed crust and brings it back in, as they all three start digging in.
Mike looks at Keith, threateningly and says “I’ll break your damn neck if you ever do that again. Bitch.”
He starts picking the onions off his piece.
“Who got the frickin onions?” smacking Tram, saying “Why did you order onions, you meathead?”
Tram speaks up “What you want to go again?”
Keith looks at Mike, saying “I guess it’s your time of the month, huh? I see why Angie was getting tired of you.”
Mike looked pissed and said “Man, shut up. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately.”
Tram fired back “Can’t figure out who you haven’t slept with on campus yet?”
Mike snapped at him, “No, dickwad. Diane thinks she’s pregnant.”
Keith looks at him seriously, “Oh, shit, are you kidding?”
Trams asks “Well, what if she is? What are you guys going to do?”
Mike answers ” Well, I think she should get an abortion, but her parents said they would have to raise it because she’s not responsible enough.”
Tram intellectually replies “Well, no disrespect, but who the fuck cares what you guys want. What’s she want?”
Mike tells him “She wants to keep it but”
Keith talks over him, saying “But what? Support her. You did this to her.”
Mike tries to reason with him, saying “It would make things a lot easier if she got the abortion.”
Keith comes back, saying “For who? You? Her parents? Hell, probably even her. But, you know, it’s weird, how this bond between a mother and her child grows. I’ve seen it. It’s her privilege. It’s something we can’t have and you have no right to take that away from her because it might inconvenience you.”
Tram grabs a phone and hands it to Mike. “Call her. Talk about it.”
Mike gives him this funny look, and gets up from the table with phone in hand. Tram and Keith get up and go sit on the couch, watching television. Keith looks over at the clock.
11:01. He gets up and goes back into the kitchen.
He looks at Mike. “Call her back. We have to go.”
Mike pleads saying “We can be late. Just give me a minute.”
Keith says, “Come on, tell her to meet you there. You can have a talk then. Let’s just go and forget this shitty night.”
Mike seems to have gotten ahold of her. “Hey, Diane, can you meet me at Molly’s party? Well, what time d’ya get off? I’ll be there at 1. Okay, love you, alright, bye.”
Tram gets up and grabs what’s left of the beer and says “Whipped already.”
Mike pushes him out the door and says “Get the hell out of the door.”
They all walk down the stairs out to the parking lot in front of the building. Tram gets in the driver’s seat. Keith is riding shotgun, and Mike’s in the back seat.
Mike says to Tram, “This is a fat ass ride, man. I want a new car.”
Tram says, “It’s a rental. You know I totaled my car. You were there.”
Keith says to him “Yeah, that’s what happens when you drive drunk. You know, I feel like we really learned something about each other tonight.”
Mike strains to hear and says “What’s that?”
Tram pulls out fast and shouts “Who cares, let’s forget the whole damn night and get shitfaced. Wooo!”
Keith responds, “No, seriously. We learned that we are all big shitheads.”
They all laugh, speeding around a corner, running up on the curb a little. Moments later, Tram hits a pothole, and loses control of the wheel, and runs front end first into a grassy ditch on the side of the road. All three guys were alright, after a trip to the hospital. It was 11:30.