Poetry (Various)

Poetry is a young man’s game, to me.  Feels weird to say that seeing as I’m only 33 years old but I mean young as in you’re still figuring out what life is, being an adult and where you’re going.  The world is still full of possibilities, not that it isn’t now, but now I have a base; i Have a family, all that I do is for them, to keep them safe, make them happy and keep our bond tight.  I know exactly where I’m going; it’s with them, whatever the path may lead.  When you’re just in college (like I was writing most of these) you are going off of experiences and dreaming of what could be.  I wrote these actually about 10 years ago (so a little after college) right before I met my wife:

The Flight Past Your House

I see imaginary planes

they soar down far into my yard

a nose dive into a beehive in my tree

my mom won’t pick up after me

the water hose wraps up the garden gnome

right before the sun goes home again

at night, the crickets come out to play

and sing into the morning of the next day

the franctic pace of our yard sale

matches the velocity of a snail

who took the early flight past his house

the next right runs the curve of the moon

and on and on until we’re home again

=============================================================================================

Brushing By

(i wrote this about my wife when i first knew her)

She’s completely absorbed

no sight around her

oblivious to most, although smarter than most

I feel her energy when I’m near her

and think about it when I’m not

She’s the most unsure thing I’ve ever been unsure about

but can’t stop wanting to be sure

She’s pure- heart and conviction

someone who completely baffles me, and now I love being baffled

a mystery inside an enigma

that I want to read like an open book

her key is lost down a well, with a broken pulley

What can I say to make her notice me for the rest of our lives?

I struggle to be myself, to find myself when she brushes by

even though I’m more myself when I look at her eyes in conversation than I’ve ever felt

That’s where the truth lies: in the small moments I get with her

==================================================================================================

The Missing Piece (more angst)

I feel it in me, empty, left in the open, wallow in self-pity

new in an unknown city, the sky looks different, tonight

not a familiarity in sight

really hurt, there’s knots in my throat, I feel sick and my stomach’s a rocking boat

there’s no choice in the matter, I felt my heart shatter but for some reason, we try and make sense of the tatters

what’s it worth?  could it ever be the same?

is it love behind your voice when you say my name?

I don’t have the words or a person to share them with

my minds so wrapped up in a fit, it’s the unfinished opus

the missing piece, a puzzle incomplete

==================================================================================================

Vulture

circling the carcass

eye-ing the prey

the stink wafts to the bottom of the clouds

the hardened beak

the dark feathers

all the neck one could want

and down it plunges

the ripeness of the victim

the bird is almost grinning

the meat’s tender

and it’s mother was watching

==================================================================================================

The 28 Seconds Before I Left This Earth

1- watching myself threatened, then reacting violently, holding my own red blood, thick

2- one knee in a puddle; light shining in the dark of the alley at night

3- colors

4- the point of view of my eyelashes blinking

5- what should have happened when I was 15 and stole a car while someone was in it

6 having sex with….the blonde girl from the bank

7- watching her smoke afterwards

8- playing in the snow when I was 10 with my little brother

9- imagining my thoughts moving through the channels of time like from “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”

10- seeing a snake slither through a muddy creek towards some unsuspecting kids

11- holding my own son

12- he’s smiling at me; does he know who I am?

13- kissing my wife on the forehead after the operation

14- the night we conceived the child

15- eating a steak and shrimp dinner, with mashed potatoes, veggies, & garlic bread, along w/ a Triple Black to wash it down

16- wanting to go to sleep

17- someone walking over top of me

18- me lying to the police about her

19- my mother’s chocolate cake, just out of the oven

20- showering myself in Las Vegas

21- having sex with the girl i met at the roulette wheel, who had already had one too many

22- imagine free-falling from a hot air balloon, and never reaching the ground- just infinitely falling

23- walking the streets of Tokyo

24- turning on a night light for my beautiful baby boy

25- my mother’s funeral wearing my tight-fit rented suit

26- counting out 60 $100 bills in my living room

27- the way my bed feels

28- that I died loving her regardless of what either of us had done

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